Where's the Beef? |
Posted: November 26, 2012 |
The beef is here, with this article. [you’re sick of turkey, anyhow, right?] This is where the rubber meets my road. Read this short post I received on the Inner Child and how it sabotages us. My tirade will follow. [like someone could stop it…] When individuals first hear of the concept of the "inner child" they are often taught that it exists because somewhere in their life they did not get the love and nurturing required to develop into an emotionally mature and independent adult. What's worse it fools individuals into surrendering years of their lives to therapies that never effectively address the self sabotage and self destruction that such "parts" rain down on those individuals whose minds and lives have been hijacked by them. Annie, here… I do not believe this philosophy: to me the ego is being confused with the Inner Child. The ego is the VIC – Voice in Charge – that I see as the Saboteur, the Hijacker of our health and happiness. I am a TOTAL believer in the Inner Child and the need for integration with the Adult Self. Deleting the memories or erasing the experiences is denying what happened and that just doesn’t work for me. Downplaying it, ignoring it, telling it to “go away” is exactly what I did in childhood. Look how well THAT turned out. Question: how would you feel if you’d done your very best on a work project, your contribution was quite impressive, then your company says, ‘thanks; we won’t need your services anymore.” Oh, do I? I’m sticking with integrating my Child, not discarding her. I say keep your Inner Child and her memories in the car, just don’t let them drive. We sometimes think the Inner Child WANTS to drive the car. Do you know many 4 year olds that want to drive a car? What they WANT is to be loved. Until someone steps in they can trust, they are going to drive. THEY DIDN’T WANT TO DRIVE. THEY HAD TO. And now we’re going to say to the Inner Child, “thanks; we don’t need your services anymore...b'bye.” ? Here’s the salt…pour a little more on the wound, would you?. It’s hard to be the Adult -self when you disavow your Child-self and their vulnerability. You will get rebellion and resistance – a normal reaction when a child knows something is wrong. Your behavior today is not “acting out like a child”. You’re behavior is acting out of default that was learned as a child. It has become your normal. You don’t need to dishonor your child. You need to learn a new normal.
Name it, claim it, reframe it. Your partner in change. Annie~Pat
For personal help with your Self integration, give me a call for a free initial consultation. 407 873 5055
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