One Bite at a Time |
Posted: April 18, 2013 |
One Bite at a Time I love drama. Especially negative drama. [is there any other kind?] So to get my drama “hit”, I have this habit of re-living past events. Over and over. Eeking out every bit of awfulness that I saw or experienced from the event. On the road to Poor Me town and no where else to go… If you want to get all psychoanalytic here, one would say I’m addicted to negative excitement. You’ll notice I used the word “habit”, not addiction. And that’s exactly the little detail I would point out to my clients. I’d tell them they were deflecting and avoiding the issue. It’s known as putting-a-bow-on-the-garbage. Habit may look better than an addiction, but it still smells bad. I hate it when I get called on my own stuff. But it’s true. Drama gets me high. It’s my drug of choice. Not easy to admit, not pretty to see. It IS however, easy to hide. It‘s hard to hide excessive drinking, smoking, gambling, eating….those are real addictions. But drama? C’mon now…exaggerate much? Gee..denial that your behavior might be unhealthy. Who does that? Addicts love behavior we can mask as normal. If no one can recognize it, no one ever has to know. Hence, the name shadow addiction. Make no mistake though; it’s equally as damaging. So here’s what I do when the drama addiction kicks in. I call myself on it. No blame like “hey, loser..” Just a heads-up. Here’s how: First, I have a big stop sign that I imagine. In the middle of my pity/drama party I pull out the sign, and all the drama comes to a halt. Next, I imagine someone I know and trust entering the room and escorting the drama scene and the players out a side door. I then sit down and just breathe deeply and physically release and relax. I don’t DO anything at this point.
After I relax, I visualize a happy, safe place, filled with people of my choosing. Add an activity, if you wish, or just BE there, soaking in the good. Creating a new now for your self. Go in to get out, as my friend says. Does the drama still come up? Oh yeah…but it doesn’t stay as long. Change is tough when you try to do it all at once. Or when you try to do it quickly. How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time, babe. Grab a fork; let’s get started. Pass the salt, please…
When excuses stop, change starts. Visit my web site and request your complimentary consultation to FEZZIK coaching. http://hoppy9090.wix.com/whole
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