Are You Living in Default |
Posted: November 9, 2012 |
We know what a computer default program is, yes? It’s the program your computer automatically uses, UNLESS YOU SAY OTHERWISE. You don’t have to think – BOOM. It goes to work without a word from you. That might be fine if you’re writing a letter. Not so good if you’re trying to live a life. Check out these defaults. Have a cup of coffee, light up a cigarette. Wait a minute, Annie…I don’t smoke, shop or drink! This isn’t me! Maybe not, but somehow you eased the pain. It’s how we survive. That’s what addictions do for us- ease the pain. It’s the underbelly of default living. Off to traffic school to decipher this more…. Your default will show up as the red light. Stops you cold. Also keeps you from getting killed. Now you can run the light, but you face difficult consequences if you do. Defaults may appear to protect, but they are also painful, so we need to ease the pain. Hello, addictions! Smoking, drinking, drugs, hoarding, exercise, work, sex, cleaning, eating, gambling, shopping….so many choices! Lucky us. C’mon, Annie…not ALL of these are addictions! You are right. Food is great, unless you eat to ease pain. Shopping is fine when I need new shoes, not when it’s to ease pain. Here’s a personal confession: I used to clean my house twice a day, every day. I cleaned the “clean”. What’s wrong with clean? Nothing, unless you do it to ease pain, like I did. Odd sense of control and power, huh? That's an addiction. There is good news. Those red lights turn yellow, first. And that’s where you can catch the behavior and make another choice. [hopefully non addictive] Look for these yellow lights of default: We’ll use my cleaning addiction as an example. [Substitute your own…] You see the yellow lights, but you drive right through them. Don’t we all. Try paying attention to the yellow lights – distract, deny, react, reflect. If you catch the default there, your chances of dismantling it greatly increase. Now buckle up, Binky, could be a rough ride. Want to learn how to get out of default?
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