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Featured Member |
Aaaachooo! Uh – oh…are you contagious?
Cough n’ cold season is coming…We know to stay away from people when they're sick with the flu—but what about when our friends, family, and colleagues are stressed or angry? Is that a good time to stay away, too? The moods of others may be just as contagious as their germs. [Psychologists dub this "emotional contagion”.] Works like this… 1. Our unconscious mind mimics facial expressions. It records another person's smile or scowl. Then it signals your facial muscles to mirror the expression, so YOU smile or scowl. 2. The facial expression can turn into a corresponding emotion. [When you smile, you generate happiness within yourself. When you scowl, you trigger anger.] 3. You and the other person share facial experiences until you reach a shared emotional state – hence it’s contagious!
So should you run away when a friend is upset? No, cuz it works both ways. Just learn how to protect yourselves from others' negativity. Take a listen… Say your day is humming along, when you cross paths with someone who is in a foul mood. Suddenly, you no longer feel quite so happy. You start to “catch” their emotions, feeling resentful, annoyed, and or perhaps even depressed. Here’s the take-away: You either “invite” the other person to synchronize with YOUR emotional state, or you'll synchronize with theirs. Try these tips to keep the ball in your court: 1. Maintain emotional balance by tuning in to your body. Deep breathing will keep you from a knee-jerk reaction, and allow you to choose a response, instead. 2. Hear them without judgment. Look beyond their behavior and you'll see that they're just trying to find a way to feel some relief. There is no right or wrong, here. 3. Stay in your “knowing” and refrain from seeing the situation from their perspective. You don’t need to buy what they’re selling, especially if it doesn’t fit. 4. Remind them of their magnificence, because they obviously forgot. Keep in mind they may resist; not everyone wants to climb out of the quicksand. Offer the rope and let them decide whether or not to grab hold. We all choose our own path in our own time.
There you have it. Guess you could call this vitamin C for the Soul. [Hey, it worked for Chicken Soup… :)] And by the way….gseundheit.
Annie-Pat *with thanks to Genius Sparks” from Paul R. Scheele
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