Do You Have an Off Switch? |
Posted: April 17, 2016 |
Do You Have an Off Switch? Emotional abandonment is painful. It’s hard enough to take as an adult, but how do kids handle it? They probably can’t verbalize it but they sure as hell can feel its pain. We need an off switch. Self hatred, shame and blame are some common survival tools I definitely used to disconnect, but what worked especially well for me was to stay so distracted there wasn’t time to think or feel the pain. Staying busy was MY “off” switch. Do you know people who “never stop”? They may indeed be living a busy life, but they may be carrying the work of others because it is what they learned to do to survive. It distracted them from the pain then, and it does so now, too. Off switch. Substance addictions are another off switch that keep us from seeing and feeling our pain and are are more commonly known. But can you see how distractions can become an addiction, too? As with any addiction, there’s a HUGE problem that arises with the “solution”. In using distraction as my addiction to disconnect the pain, I also disconnected from myself and from my God. So now what, Grasshopper? 1. Be prepared: When you discover the disconnect you will try to restore the connection. This will cause withdrawal symptoms. It won’t make sense....why does making healthy choices feel so bad? In this very moment of withdrawal pain, it feels better to return to dysfunction rather than change, which is often why we relapse. 2. Have a Plan B for back up. It will help you navigate through until you can return to your Plan A. 3. Recognize that relapsing isn’t a sign of weakness...it’s a sign of habit. You can do this. Remember all scoutmasters started as scouts, all teachers were students, all generals were privates. Don’t focus on the finish line; focus on the journey. And if you need help along the way, I’m here, cheering from the sidelines...
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