What Are You Tolerating in Your Life? |
Posted: September 10, 2013 |
What Are You Tolerating in Your Life? Let’s explore tolerating a bit, shall we? We begin with some questions, designed to bring clarity to your consciousness. Off we go…..
We live in the familiar – be it happy or miserable – because it is comfortable. We stop thinking and act on autopilot. In a nutshell…we behave as adults based on what it took to survive or thrive in childhood. Example: My husband threw raging fits because it “worked” for HIM as a kid. I did everything to avoid being abandoned because it “worked” for ME as a kid. So that was the basis of our marriage: his extreme rage and my avoiding extreme rage [which I thought meant abandonment]. I couldn’t see how destructive it was because it was familiar. Living any differently, or taking care of me, was unfamiliar territory and therefore UNCOMFORTABLE. Which is exactly why change is so difficult. Which is also why most men lead lives of quiet desperation. We seek comfort and we find it in the familiar. Life is what it is, people are who they are AND YOU CAN’T CONTROL ANY OF THAT. There IS one thing in all this crazy that you CAN control. It’s your response to the experience or to the person. Would you like to change that response to work in your favor? Become aware of who you are now. Become clear on who you want to be. Here’s your homework: 1. I no longer want to be…. 2. I DO want to be….. Now there's a difference in knowing the path and walking the path. Discovery is not recovery. It’s a crucial first step, but to have a life worth living takes effort along with the awareness. So after identifying the WHATs and the WHOs, the next homework step is HOW to change. That needs individualization to be effective. There is no one-size-fits-all solution I can offer here. But there is this: give yourself time and kindness.
Have a coaching question? Just ask Annie at [email protected]. CHANGE HAPPENS IN AWARENESS, NOT IN DENIAL.
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