Would-a, Could-a and Should-a |
Posted: June 7, 2013 |
Would-a, Could-a and Should-a “One of the most effective ways to lighten our load is to take a concrete action that is contradictory to a “should” statement we hold about ourselves.” -Chris Cade ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I tried Chris’s suggestion from his above quote, and found it quite remarkable. Goes like this: Original Way of facing a challenge: SHOULD STATEMENT: I should be the best at every job I take. INTERNAL RESPONSE: I can’t. This is hard. I’m never gonna learn this. Loser. DEFAULT ACTIONS: Isolate [avoid potential negative attacks] Jump into being busy [distract and deny; false sense of productivity] Anything that came up for me from the shoulds got suppressed by my defaults. Are those inner voices true? Am I a loser? Didn’t give myself a chance to find out, did I? See how smart my default is…can’t lose a game you don’t play. Can’t ever release the dysfunction or the drama, either.
New and Improved way of facing a challenge: SHOULD STATEMENT: I should be the best at every job I take. INTERNAL RESPONSE: I can’t. This is hard. I’m never gonna learn this. Loser. CONTRADICTORY ACTION: Ask for help. Give others a chance to support you. Surrender the need to be the best and love yourself as you are.
Both of the new actions took the weight off my shoulders, plus opened the door for me to connect with others. I guess it does lighten the load….now let’s be sure we don’t pick that weight back up, again. To your new now. Recovery is about sick people getting well, not bad people getting good.
|
||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
|